Just like ‘THE VAMPIRES’, Emotional Vampires are also driven by single minded goal, if you are not careful enough they will stanch their thirst by emotionally draining you out.
We all must have met one of these kinds in workplace, they look normal, just like any of us but once they are hired or assumes a post of power their exploitation starts. Their behaviour is consciously regulated with ulterior motives. They want to feed on your positive energy and cultivate the ‘Vampire kind of Organizational Culture’ . Whenever we are around them we feel tired or frustrated or depressed. Thoughts like look out for job change or how to fight back always clouds our mind.
Know your predator. According to Albert J. Bernstein, a clinical psychologist and author of Emotional Vampires at Work described them as one of the four types.
- Antisocials: An Antisocial crave excitement in bending or breaking laws for their own needs and wants. They often feel little or no empathy towards others. They often bully people and shows no respect towards people working around them.
- Histrionics: A Histrionics is a constant attention seeker wherever he goes. They want to be the center of attention and create drama. They become difficult and problem creator if they are not constantly showered with attention.
- Narcissists: They suffer from grandiose sense of importance and believe universe
revolves around them. They are always high on the assumption of being too successful and think themselves as unique. They usually exploits people working around them and are arrogant and jealous of other’s success.
- Obsessive-Compulsives: These are perfectionists who leaves no room for mistakes especially not even your’s. They Micromanage everything at the cost of flexibility, openness and efficiency. Their controlling behavior makes it painful to work with them.
How to Fight back an emotional Vampire ?
It is simpler than you think, Just ‘KEEP CALM’ and follow the rule of NE-TT-CG-SM-SD
- (NE) NEVER EXPLAIN-Emotional Vampires feed on your response, they will instigate you for one. Never explain to them how you were absolutely correct and others were wrong. They will always put you in tough spot and you have to make a choice. Rather than being always right , choose to be effective for a change to make their attack futile.
- Take (TT) TIME to THINK- Impulsive decisions are not the best one. Emotional Vampire will push you for the immediate response, don’t give them one. Ask for time, think through and then respond. This will make his attack useless as by the time you are ready with solution his attack for the day has already lost it’s charm.
- (CG) CLARIFY your GOAL -Know your goal and what you are expected to achieve, stay focused. Emotional Vampire will try to dodge you off by pushing you in multi directions.
- (SM) SHUT your Mouth – Emotional responses are quick to erupt and they are not as good as rational responses. Emotional Vampire will push your buttons to get a reaction out of you . Take a deep breath and let the moment pass by. This will ward off the energy sucker.
- (SD) SLOW DOWN- To snatch control of situation from Emotional Vampire you need to think more slowly than him. Give your task and yourself an appropriate time. Don’t hurry. His fast pace is a trick to throw you off balance.